Dyslexia and self-esteem
“I suffer from severe dyslexia. I was the only child on my block on Halloween to go ‘trick or trout’ … Here comes that young Williams boy. Better get some fish.”
So joked Robin Williams in an interview with robin-williams.
But it’s no joke. Though Williams eventually became a celebrated comedian and actor, it was not an easy journey for this shy child who struggled to learn to read and write. And though Williams was undoubtedly a genius in his chosen field, it is likely that he fought the demons of self doubt all his life.
Episodes of depression and alcoholism are well documented and eventually, this incredible human being, who had the uncanny ability to make the whole world laugh and cry and empathize with so many human beings on film, took his own life at the age of 63.
What drove Robin to take his own life?
The most obvious answer seems to be the onset of Parkinson’s disease.
“In a statement, Williams’ widow, Susan Schneider, said that her late husband had been struggling with the early stages of Parkinson’s disease, but was not ready to share his diagnosis with the public, according to USA Today.” (Source: Livescience).
“Robin’s sobriety was intact, and he was brave as he struggled with his own battles of depression, anxiety as well as early stages of Parkinson’s disease, which he was not yet ready to share publicly,” Schneider’s statement said. (Source: Livescience).
Dyslexia and Depression
According to Erik Erikson, during the first years of school, every child must resolve the conflicts between a positive self-image and feelings of inferiority. If children succeed in school, they will develop positive feelings about themselves and believe that they can succeed in life.
Researchers have learned that when typical learners succeed, they credit their own efforts for their success. When they fail, they tell themselves to try harder. However, when the dyslexic succeeds, he is likely to attribute his success to luck. When he fails, he simply sees himself as stupid. (Source: DyslexiaHelp)
Robin Williams appeared to have overcome his self-doubt with his continued success as a world-renowned comedian and actor. However, based on interviews where he expressed self-doubt and the ongoing need to prove himself, it is likely that the early scars of dyslexia were never resolved.
Robin Williams and Depression
Robin Williams disability’ battles with depression and alcoholism are well documented.
Williams talked about the overwhelming fear and anxiety that led him to seek solace in alcohol. “It’s just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn’t.” What was he afraid of? “Everything. It’s just a general all-round arggghhh. It’s fearfulness and anxiety.” (Source: TheGuardian )
Robin told Terry Gross on the “Fresh Air” NPR radio show in 2006 that mania was something he imitated for characters he sometimes performed. But depression, he said, was more personal. “Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes,” Williams said. “Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah.”
He told Diane Sawyer of ABC News just after his two-month treatment for alcoholism in 2006 that falling back into the addiction was gradual. In July 2014, the actor checked himself into the Hazelden Addiction Treatment Center in Minnesota in an effort to maintain his sobriety, his publicist said at the time.
“It’s the same voice thought that … you’re standing at a precipice and you look down, there’s a voice and it’s a little quiet voice that goes, ‘Jump,’” Williams told Sawyer. “The same voice that goes, ‘Just one.’ … And the idea of just one for someone who has no tolerance for it, that’s not the possibility.” (Source: Huffpost )
Conclusion
These interviews give us some insight into Robin Williams state of mind. We don’t know if, despite his successes, his early experiences with dyslexia contributed to his lack of self-esteem, depression, alcoholism and eventually suicide.
This is undoubtedly a subject that bears more study. “There is a shortage of research concerning dyslexia and self-harm, that may result in suicide, poisoning, and self-cutting.” (Source: ResearchGate )